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my heart is dead and its way past beating
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| death walks alone with me... |
[Apr. 27th, 2005|11:56 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  rejected | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | a thorn for every heart | ] |
here's one last final update...
so_
nothing in life seems to be going right.
my life is slowly falling apart,
and it feels as if everyone im close to is gone.
i feel alone in this world.
im fed up with everything.
i dont care anymore.
i am no longer going to regret anything i do or say.
ill say what's on my mind and what i think about you or anyone
like it or not. i just dont fucking care.
if you dont like it then you dont have to talk to or even notice that i exist, makes no difference to me...i am learning who i can trust and who i can't.
there are many thoughts running through my head. i am sad/lonely/angry/remorseful/nostalgic
i dont want any pity from anyone.
it fucking annoys me.
everything happens for a reason.
nothing lasts forever.
i have to learn to move on...it seems as if everyone else is.
...i just want you to be happy. i just hope we can remain friends. i dont want to lose you as a friend. |
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| hold on tightly, let go lightly |
[Apr. 26th, 2005|11:35 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  lonely | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | count the stars-my best mistake | ] |
i think it has come to stop updating.
im not keeping my LJ anymore.
goodbye |
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| spare me three last words |
[Apr. 23rd, 2005|03:04 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  discontent | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | A Cutthroat Kiss | ] |
ok. so its been a while since i've updated.
lets see...i dont really remember what i've been doing, but...
sunday_
hungout with slack:D
went to the mall
went the pet store and now i want to get a pharret
then brad and clint got home from there little vacation and hung out with them.
monday_
i dont remember...just sat at home all day???
im not to sure
tuesday_
came home from school.
did some homework.
went to the FHS track meet to see slack and nicole.
wednesday_
i dont remember
thursday_
sat around after school.
then went to slack's house to see her before she went to Toronto
friday_
went to dinner with my parents.
played football with Kam,ryan,phil,and clint.
went to wendy's after.
then played poker and kayla came over to.
my mom was being a bitch and wouldn't let me spend the night at Kamrons >:0
today_
sitting around as usuall...then work.
i hearts slack sooo much |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 13th, 2005|03:17 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  grateful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | armor for sleep | ] |
it's been two months and this is the happiest i've ever been. slack, you mean so much to me and im glad were together.
I hearts you so much<33 |
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| GTFO! |
[Apr. 11th, 2005|11:11 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  relaxed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Matchbook romance | ] |
thanks to someone commenting and being a bitch on my EL JAY(not using names...but im pretty sure she knows who she is.)
i disabled comments.
maybe ill enable it the next time i update?
ill update later too
I hearts sam slack wayy much.
she's unbelievably gorgeous
and im soo happy with her.<333 |
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| help? |
[Apr. 7th, 2005|04:10 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  where is he looking??? | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | senses fail | ] |
so, uhm...
anyone want to help me with my journal layout???
id love you for life!!!!!;) |
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| SPRING BREAK |
[Apr. 4th, 2005|01:03 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | YYYYAAAWWNNNN | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | fall out boy | ] |
dont feel like typing everything out...it would be an effin book. but anyway...
this break was suuuupper fun
i was with brad like everyday...he's a hawtie;)
it was mucho fun.
went to taco bell sooo much.
i think im done eating that for a while...
hahah
hung out with slack a lot too :D
and im glad i did.
i enjoy every minute im with her.
...btw, i won allll the "tickle fights":P
i could go on and on about all the people ive hung out with over break...but its getting late and im tired...so,
-nicole...still thinks i hate her. but she's my hero and i looovvvee her.
-hung out with clint a few times...always funn
-ryan spent the night...goodtimes with him
-hungout with Ben once
-hungout with phil and kamron before they went on vacation for spring break.
-saw libby today...i think this was the first time ive hung out with her.
-uhmmmm...PPPPOOOOOLLLAAAARRRR BBBBEEEAAAAARRRR!
i can't really remember who else or really what i did.
sorry if i forgot about you.=/
...im mad that there's school tomorrow...but who isn't
comment or not, i dont care anymore?
oh yea!...
I hearts Sam Slack a lot!<33
i'm happiest when i'm with you:) |
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| today! |
[Mar. 30th, 2005|01:35 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | quixotic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | pretty girls make graves | ] |
woke up at noon
sat around until around 3
went to brads
picked up nicole.
went to sleven. then taco bell
then home to eat dinner
then back to brads
then back to taco bell
went to slacks
chilled in brads car because we couldn't go inside
went to taco bell, met up with hays and clint
went back to slacks house
came home, and ryans spending the night
what a great effin day
...and IM UPDATING? surprised...you should be;)
i hearts sam slack.
she's the best and cutest person everrrr
she's so great;) |
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| ughhh? |
[Mar. 23rd, 2005|10:32 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | uhm...yea | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | EVERYTIME I DIE | ] |
so. im not really updating but...
idk know why but im in a blahhhh mood right now.
and just signed ofline because 4819846 people tried talking to me at once and im really dont want to try and talk to all those people at once. its funny because no one usually talks to me and when i dont feel like talking, EVERYONE wants to. >:0
hmmmm...o well, whatev.
i also love it when i call people and they dont pick up and dont return calls....you know exactly who you are.
oh yea!...
this might be the last update...is there a point in me having this?
its not like anyone is reading this and is gonna comment anyway.
so bye.
why in the hell am i in such a bad mood?!
i shouldn't be.
i had a funnn night and everythings good. |
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| CAPTAINSHIP! |
[Mar. 17th, 2005|11:11 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  <-check out that sexy smile | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | HIPV | ] |
so. this is kinda late.
but tuesday was the banquet for swimming.
it was a fun time seeing everyone together again as a team.
I really miss swimming and being with all of them.
so i got my letter for the third year in a row. :)
im gonna miss the seniors this year.
spencer is just one hella cool kid.
greg=me and him still have to talk. ahahaha!
alex...is sexy. lol
matt= halo alllll time.
they're a great group of guys, ill miss them tremendously
I was really nervous at the banquet, it all led up to one thing...
who was gonna be named captain for next year.
This was what i was waiting for all day.
I couldn't stop thinking about it.
When the coach called out the names i wasn't expecting it.
I was only expecting two people to get it.
but there was three!!!
He named P. Hays. Clint. and myself as captains.
WOOOOO!
I'm so excited, next year is gonna ROCK!
NON-STOP fun every day...oh yea hays!
nothing much more has happend lately.
other than hanging out with brad a lot lately...sucha secksie kid.
and mucho poker...SLACK AND NICOLE LEARNED HOW TO PLAY!! lol
also! ive hung out with ryan a few times to.
its been a while since ive hung out with him....always good times ;)
and i found out tonight that there will be movie night tomorrow!
yayyy! im excited now ;) i get to hang out with the awesomest and cutest person ever who i care about a lot...slack =)
brad will be there too. along with slacks surprise guest? clint maybe? idk who else i dont know much.
anyway..comment? id like to hear your thoughts.
i luv you and care about you more than anything. |
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| long update? |
[Mar. 13th, 2005|01:29 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  drained | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Taste of Chaos | ] |
so...
last night was Taste of Chaos. saw so many people there.
with ryan. it was much'o fun'o
ryan was hit on by a thirteen year old. he has a fetish for the young ones.
so, a static lullaby was awesome.
so was underoath and senses fail.
my chemical romance is a good band...but i dont like them because of their lead singer. ughhhhh, he's a wierdo.
and the used...i have nothing to say about them
or killswitch for that matter.
so i locked my keys in my car...again,
and when me and ryan tried to get back in the effffin security gaurd wouldn't let us back in.
so a police man gave us some tips on how to get back in.
we ended up getting onto the main floor. wooooo!
i started to mosh during the used...
but i was pushed over and fell=people stomped all over my arm/shoulder.
so i sat out for the rest of the concert.
shane didn't have a ride home so i gave him one.
me ryan and him stopped off at denny's and ate fries and then we went home. i got home around 130. didn't fall asleep until around 3 or so.
so today my dad woke me up at 930 to eat breakfast.
ugh, i wanted to sleep as long as i could.
so after i went and took a nap.
woke up. talked online for a while.
took another nap.
took a shower and got ready for the day.
was ready in 20 min...15 min of that was taking a shower
went to brads. took pictures.
went to nicoles. took more pictures.
then to dinner at johny corinos. it was good but didn't eat much.
then we went to slack's g-ma's and they got some pics with her.
went to the mall so clint could get some aviators. people wouldn't stop staring at us! i got annoyed so i started to walk away...fast
we went to clints and just sat around until the dance started.
at the dance there was some girl who was just standing there all alone so we went over and talked and we all danced with her and after that happend she followed us around for almost a half and hour!!!...ew
then she tried asking for everyones screen name.
me slack..and clint i think?
walked away before she could get ours.
after the dance we went to slack's dad's house for almost an hour.
left her house around 1215.
got home around 1240.
got out of the suit and now im exhausted from last night and tonight.
this is the best weekend ever.
taste of chaos with ryan...FUCKING AWESOME TIME.
coming home with slack :), clint, nicole, and brad...time of my life
tomorrow...sleep all day?
mucho luvv to all |
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| quick |
[Mar. 5th, 2005|02:10 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  ...how you doin?? | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | crossfade | ] |
sooo.
ummmm...
ill update some other day....im to lazy and well, yea
this is good enough for now
much luvvv to you all
p.s. i luvvvv movie nights, but cant make next week :/
going to a concert, TASTE OF CHAOS!!! with ryan, wooooooooooooooo! |
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| SNOW DAY=hXc sledddd |
[Mar. 1st, 2005|11:12 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  <--i luv that face | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Finch | ] |
i luvvv snow days!
school blows...but everyone knows that.
i woke up at 1130...because my dad woke me up
went to lunch with him and didn't really eat anything
came home and did nothing.
so the only way i could go out was if i studied for my tests tomorrow.
so i did...it was the most boring two and a half hours of my day,
but i got it done and over with.
came back online and just talked.
then i ate dinner...meatloaf=siiiiicck, so i only ate mashed potatoes and corn. another day where i eat almost nothing.
right after i left for brad's to go hXc sledddd!!
i went with brad, ryan, phil, ashleigh, and miranda.
i asked slack if she wanted to go, but she couldn't...=(...p.s. cant wait till movie night!!! ;)
it was funnn until i was freezzzzing asss cold!
i wore sunglasses i found in b-rad's car.
the first time i went down i wiped out and did a face plant= now i have battle scars on my nose from the sunglasses.
second time i went down i hit a jump and fell on my upper back...it might be a little bruised...dont know, dont care really
at least one time i went down i went the furthest(so close to the forest)...i won the slolem challenge, ryan was second...i dont think anyone was trying tho, i just made it up myself and ryan kinda knew about it. who cares...I WON!!
after we went to taco bell. phil and ryan were late cuz he lost his key to his car, and that's where i ate the most all day((quesadilla and the guy gave me a FREE meximelt!..it wasn't that good tho))
miranda was supposed to be home at 8...but everyone just sat around and talked and didn't bother to get up to go until 820 or something, it was great
well, it was one hell of a snow day!!!
now im goin to beddddd
mucho <3s!! |
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| late nights |
[Feb. 27th, 2005|03:39 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | blindside | ] |
so...
this is what i do when its late at night,
when im over at some kids house that goes to stevenson,
i just met him today/night
and well, scully and other kids from the swim team knew him,
so we came over after the traditional after party after finals.
NO MORE SWIMMING!
so now im bored over here and everyone is asleep.
so i just wanted to do this for absolutely no reason at all.
anyway...yea
p.s. i was on a sugar high all day/night after finals today.
i was bouncing off the walls |
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| could have done better... |
[Feb. 24th, 2005|08:45 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  determined | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | hot action cop | ] |
so today was preliminaries for swimming finals on saturday.
this meant that i got to miss school! yesssss
i went to first and second hour tho before we had to leave.
we arrived at salem at about 10 o'clock and warmed up.
when we were finally done warming up and all that, the prelims were ready to begin.
i was in the very first event. the 200yd medley relay. i swam the backstroke as usual, didn't do to good....29.85 sec.=/
not exactly sure what we placed...but not top 18.
my next event was the 100yd butterfly. i was seeded 24th in the conference.
i swam 1:02.54 and finished at 21st. i'd say i did really good in that event.
my final event...the 100yd backstroke. this is the event that i REALLY wanted to do good in.
i was seeded 16th in the conference.
i have to say i was quite nervous.
...i ended up going 1:05.41, ughhh
i finished at 18th...great, i ended up falling two places=/.. FUCK!!!!
i swam so baddd=/
well, im gonna kick ass on saturday and finish at least in 14th...i hope
this means i have to drop 2-4 seconds on my time
this is the first year that i placed top 18, IM SO EXCITED!
it's funny, ive been swimming backstroke since freshman year and it takes me three years to place in the top 18 ... but i swim butterfly for less than two and im almost there.
well, that was basically my whole day
i did nothing else when i got home except for talking online and a nap. |
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| can't sleep |
[Feb. 21st, 2005|11:26 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | relaxed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | underOATH | ] |
i cant sleep.
so im gonna update
im bored and watching underworld...such a sweet movie =)
this weekend had its ups and downs.
-thursday
school blew.
right after school i had to help set up for senior night.
it was our last home meet. it was against John Glenn.
slack, nicole, and brad showed up...they're awesome!
i did alright swimming.
my 200yd medley relay placed 1st, if you know what medley relay is...i swam the 50yd backstroke part of it and went my fastest time, 29.6 sec, i took second in the 500yd freestyle and second in the 100yd backstroke...i could've placed 1st in the 500, but my other event was like right after it so i just paced off of my teammate and finished three seconds after him...o, well
we won!
-friday
didn't do anything because everyone ditched out on poker so i was home alone and bored as hell. it pissed me off, i really wanted to play
so that night blew
-saturday
this day always sucks for me.
its always the same thing.
i had to wake up at 7 and go to practice..didn't get home until 11:50
when i got home i just went online and talked to whoever was on
it was boring...
then i had to go to work at 4...like usual
work was actually a little fun, we had a food fight and BBQ sauce got all over my pants, so i got to go home early =)
when i got home i took a shower and then talked online for the rest of the night
-sunday
dad woke me up early to eat breakfast, but i turned it down and went back to sleep.
when i woke up, it was about 10
then, at noon, i went to the hockey game with brad, slack, nicole, libby, and clint...who showed up late.
after the game libby went home and so did nicole and slack.
me and brad went over to clints house to hang, but nothing was going on over there so me and brad went home.
then i ate dinner.
then me and brad went to slacks house...clint showed up late, again
we watched a walk to remember, we kept getting distracted during the movie tho...we're gonna have to rewatch it.
after that we watched scream 2.
still got distracted during that movie too.
i got home around 11:20
i couldn't sleep, so i watched a movie and ended up falling asleep around 5.
me and brad were supposed to go over to kc's house to play poker but we didn't want to..we wanted to go hXc sleddd.
it would've only been me, brad, clint..so we didn't go.
we just stayed over at slacks and had a funnnn time! =)
i kinda wanted to play poker...idk, some of my friends are mad at me now and i feel bad =/...sorry guys, i really am.
so today...
it was alright
nothing exciting really during the day.
woke up around 1-1:30
ignored my dad when he asked me to help him shovel snow.
talked online until 2 or so.
then i went to practice at 3
i got home a little after 5 and ate dinner
then me, brad, chrissy, hays, sara, chuck, and clint went bowling.
only three people actually bowled tho.
after we went to senate..no one actually got anything except for clint, brad and chuck.
then sara, hays, and chuck went home.
me, brad, clint, and chrissy went to looney baker and had some donuts and chocolate milk. yummy!
then we all went home.
now im online and i cant sleep...
well, back to my movie
goodnight<3 |
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| test |
[Feb. 19th, 2005|11:31 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | tbs | ] |
so this is my sweet journal...there i got one, happy =) |
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